I was a big hit with the Trick or Treat-ers last night. I did what I always do, which is have a big bowl of different candies and let them choose what they want. For some reason, this year, that got strong reactions from the kids. One toddler cried and screamed because she didn't want to leave. That was not my goal, btw :) Others would wildly declare what they got here to their parents. A few even told me this was the best house. I don't know what it was, maybe it was because it rained until a short time before it started so kids were extra excitable. The last ones were a couple of girls who were probably around age 12. I told them to take a couple of handfuls each to get rid of it. That went over real well :)

I find myself in hyper Square Peg mode. I don't feel comfortable with feeling like a square peg in a round hole these days.
Feeling like a square peg is my default state, but I'm usually ok with it. But I don't feel comfortable in my house even.
This shall pass...

I have started painting the dining room. I had to stop before the first coat was done and I'm not sure when I'll be able to finish it up. The scenario of getting ready to paint is a good example of what frustrates me around here. I said I was going to paint. Husband suggests pushing the table into the living room. Good idea! Then he says we can get everything out of there except the cabinet holding dishes, that can't be moved. I was like "Huh?? I'm going to paint! It HAS to be moved." His high anxiety level skyrocketed. He said having to move that made everything 10 times worse.

I'm dealing with my own energy issues, and it can drive me nuts that I have to deal with his anxiety issues as well.

I suggested that we just empty the cabinet and move it. "But there's SO much stuff in there! And where would be put it all??" There is a set of china and a set of regular dishes. I said we could put it on my puzzle table. "But your puzzle is on there!!". Then I said the dining room table. "But things could get broken!".

By this time, I wanted to scream. My voice was probably loud as I said I'd take care of the dishes. Which took me less than 5 minutes and they are all on my puzzle table. I get so tired of having to push him through his damn walls. I don't have the energy for it.

So the next day, as I'm painting, I noticed there is still a different cabinet in the room. We have the cable modem and the router in there. Husband could not deal with, or come up with, the idea to just unplug the stuff, move the cabinet, and plug the stuff back in. This is what stops him from getting anything done. He said in his mind, he's doing stuff all of the time.

He's a good guy with high anxiety levels. He certainly didn't ask to have his leg amputated - and that drastically elevated his anxiety and other things too. But man, it can drive me nuts. It's just SO frustrating. This is one reason I don't tell any local people about my blog. So I can occasionally vent like this.